Learning Curve
by lilyleia78
Summary: McShep.  Five times Rodney said "I'm the stupidest man in two galaxies."  Mentions of McKay/Keller and Rodney's crush on Sam Carter.


Five Time Rodney…stupidest man in two galaxies

1. "I am the stupidest man in two galaxies," Rodney snapped at Zelenka. "How could I have possibly forgotten to multiply by a factor of five to account for the gravity difference? Oh that's right - I didn't."

John could hear the scorn dripping from Rodney's voice from the hallway and he stifled a smile as a very ruffled looking Radek passed him on his way out of the lab. The small Czech had literally thrown his hands up in the air in defeat and was muttering something that John understood the tone of if not the words. Sometimes John thought he should send away for a Czech dictionary: he had a feeling that Radek was even funnier in his native language.

John went in just seconds after passing Zelenka and found Rodney double checking the gravity numbers, but he looked like he was asleep standing up so John didn't call him on it. Instead he held out his offering of coffee and cookies with a smile.

Rodney blinked blearily at the food before looking into John's face. "I love you," he said sincerely, and John cursed himself for the way his heart rate reacted to the platonic declaration.

Rodney wasn't the stupidest man in two galaxies - John was.

2. "I'm the stupidest man in two galaxies," Rodney moaned, watching the movie on John's laptop through the fingers of the hand covering his face. "Why did I agree to watch this?"

John scoffed. "Agree? Is that what that was? It's not my fault you can't beat me at chess. Practice more or don't place bets on games you can't win."

Rodney crossed his arms over his chest and glowered. "I can win. You're cheating. I just haven't figured out how yet."

"Think what you want Rodney, but for now shut up and enjoy the movie."

"This isn't a movie - it's a crime against science," Rodney muttered. But then he shut up and shoveled another handful of popcorn in his mouth just as lightning struck the clock tower at exactly 10:04 pm and Marty McFly disappeared back into the future.

3. "I'm the stupidest man in two galaxies. You cock blocked me!" Rodney announced as he stormed into John's quarters. "Sam loved my the fruit basket."

"My fruit basket you mean?" John asked with a smirk

Rodney glared at him. "My fruit basket - the one I put together painstakingly before you stole it from me. The one that could have given me an in if you hadn't cock blocked me."

John shrugged unapologetically. "I don't know why you're surprised - it's not like it's the first time. Cock blocking you is a time honored tradition."

"That's true," Rodney said suspiciously. "And why is that?"

John shifted on his bed uncomfortably and looked away from Rodney's calculating gaze. "I don't know. I just…" Switching from defense to offense he pointed an accusing finger at Rodney. "Hey, you do it to me too."

Rodney stared at him for a minute, huffing and flailing his arms before raising his chin stubbornly. "That's different."

"How?" For a second John thought maybe this would be it, the moment Rodney would admit to this _thing _between them. He imagined Rodney admitting that he didn't like it when John was with someone else, someone who wasn't Rodney. And then he'd realize that John's reasons were exactly the same. And then, well, John didn't know what came next but he was hoping it involved less clothing and possibly the rest of their lives.

But Rodney harrumphed and said, "It just is" before walking out the door.

Stupidest man in two galaxies? Still John.

4. "I'm the stupidest man in two galaxies," Rodney lamented, flinging himself across the foot of John's bed in melodramatic fashion. "What made me think I could compete against Ronon?"

John felt a painfully familiar tightening in his gut that he got every time Rodney talked about his courtship of Dr Keller. "Rodney," he sighed, hoping his hurt was coming off as irritation. "It's not a competition. She'll pick who she picks."

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course it's a competition. I'd thought that Jennifer - as a pseudo scientist with an advanced degree would be attracted to my superior intellect and unique skill set as opposed to the barbarian's superior physical genetics. How am I supposed to compete with that?"

John sighed. "If you ever repeat this, I will deny it and then ask the city to murder you in your sleep."

"You can't do that?" Rodney said automatically. Then he looked up suspiciously. "Can you do that?"

John grinned mysteriously. "Focus, McKay. You're smart and brave (when it counts) and resourceful. You're a good person and a good friend. And you have a great ass. Dr. Keller is smart - she knows a good thing when she sees it."

Rodney gaped at him. "Oh, I...thank you."

"Don't mention it, McKay. Ever."

5. "I'm the stupidest man in two galaxies," Rodney whispered just seconds after John had kissed him for the first time.

"What?" The happy, relaxed smile on John's face hardened and became a blank mask, but Rodney fisted a hand in John's shirt before he could pull away and kissed away all his doubt and tension.

"I can't believe I missed this." Rodney pulled back, cuffed the back of John's head and immediately pulled him in for another kiss. "Why didn't you say something? You know that interpersonal skills are not my strong suit."

"I thought everything was your strong suit."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Clearly, _you_ are the stupidest man in two galaxies. But uh…" Rodney looked away, suddenly hesitant where he'd been nothing but confidence seconds before. "I like you anyway."

John smiled as relief made his body loose and heavy in Rodney's arms. "I love you too, McKay."


End file.
